Treading water in a whirlpool

Lately, I feel like I’m treading water in a whirlpool. You know the feeling, when you try to juggle a short term overload while insisting on maintaining your personal space and two days into your six-week temporary situation you know that the whirlpool will win. Not today or tomorrow, but sometime during the six weeks, it will win. So you cry.… Continue reading

Inhale deeply and hold

Inhale deeply. Exhale. Inhale deeply and hold. Breathe. Again. Inhale deeply. Exhale. Inhale deeply and hold. Breathe. Again. It sounds like a breathing exercise, or a meditation of sorts, but no, it’s the mantra of my radiation test run. Splayed like a broken scarecrow, head twisted to the right, I laid there for half an hour, being scanned and x-rayed,… Continue reading

Where we find strength

I wore my wedding ring to bed last night. I haven’t been wearing it, not since the weekend I lost it and then miraculously found it when it was turned in to the lost and found at Publix (A Christmas miracle). I had planned to start wearing it again after chemo, after my hands stopped being cold and my fingers… Continue reading

Stalled in no man’s land

Funny place, this no man’s land of waiting. My breast cancer treatment adventure is neither over nor in motion. It has stalled – pick your poison, a bus stop or train station or airport – and I am neither actively in treatment nor free to begin any sort of physical detox or healing process. I’m just waiting. Okay, somewhat melodramatic, but… Continue reading