Skeletons in the closet

Lately I have been plagued by bouts of anxiety. Normally it wouldn’t bother me, I think a twinge of anxiety is healthy when triggered by something appropriate. Public speaking – makes me anxious; meeting new people – yes, mildly anxiety inducing; crossing paths with someone who is combative and prone to attack –  yup, makes me anxious. When things are… Continue reading

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love

I often gush about my husband, Ken. Why not? He is one-in-a-billion and worth gushing over. He is my best friend, my soul mate, my twin flame, my lover. He is kind, strong, chivalrous and funny. He is everything a husband could be, everything a man should be, everything I could ever ask for. Our love story is not unique.… Continue reading

Oh, what a glorious morning

Some days it’s hard to feel grateful. Why is that? My life has not changed dramatically since yesterday. Granted, today is Sunday, which makes tomorrow Monday, as opposed to yesterday, which was Saturday with the promise of Sunday still on the horizon. I enjoy my job and do not have Monday doldrums, so the days of the week should not… Continue reading

Letting go of fear

I had my six-month follow up visit with my radiation oncologist last week. Its hard to believe that it has been six months since my last radiation treatment, which means it has been ten months since my last chemotherapy treatment. I got the “all clear” yesterday, but it felt hollow. The follow up for double mastectomy patients seems too simplistic,… Continue reading

A haircut like that

Lately, I keep hearing reference to “I had a haircut like that once.” The haircut that doesn’t need scissors; the one where your hair just falls out in clumps, then sticks to you as though hanging on for dear life. It doesn’t want to go, really it doesn’t, but its roots have failed, so each strand ups its static-electric game… Continue reading

A patient observer

Two slices of raisin bread, toasted, with some fruit on the side. Honeydew melon these days, it changes with the seasons. As I buttered my toast this morning, it came to me that all during chemotherapy I made my own raisin bread. Now I buy it at the store – Dave’s Killer Raisin Bread. It also occurred to me that… Continue reading

Life’s like that

Last Saturday, I pulled all my dresses out of the closet and put them on, one by one, to see how they fit my new physique. Let’s face it, my torso is crafted somewhat differently now. A double mastectomy will do that for you. I was somewhat surprised to find that dresses I never thought would be passable fit great… Continue reading

An angel’s kiss

I’m not going to lament the sudden drop in temperature that reminds me that Central Florida is not like its perpetually sun-baked sister to the south. In reality, it is this annual reminder that the rest of the United States has seasons that attracts me to this region. Now, before real confusion sets in, a reminder that seasons exist is… Continue reading

Yup, I’m still insane

I’ve been wrestling with this feeling for the past few days, this gritty lump that’s stuck in my craw and refuses to dislodge. I’ve meditated on it, yoga-ed on it, thought on it, frowned on it, yet there it sits, stuck there. Then, driving to work yesterday, it hit me, I’m still insane. Yup, genuinely certifiable. I meet the criteria.… Continue reading